On August 5th me and Daddy found out that we were going to have you. We were happy, scared, and excited. My heart instantly filled with so much love for you and I knew I would do anything for you. We didn’t get to see you until when you were about 10 weeks in tummy. You were so tiny and yet so active. You jumped around all over the place during the ultrasound. It made me so happy and your dad smiled and was just overfilled with so much emotion. At 15 weeks though your water sack broke and so many things become unclear. We didn’t know if you would live or die and it was heartbreaking. The doctors gave me the option of abortion and I told them no because I wanted you to have a fighting chance even if it was low. I knew you were strong, and I would do anything to help you along and be healthy. I was put on bedrest so that you weren’t getting to much stress from me moving around a lot, the doctors now had to see you weekly to make sure you were okay and that I was doing okay, and I had to drink so much water everyday for you. Even though you had little water to move around in you still moved and wiggled during the ultrasounds, I HAD to give you the chance to fight. The doctors told me I would have to have a c-section at 24 weeks because It was the only way you had a fighting chance. As each day passed it was another day closer to that date, another day of you getting stronger. Each Day was a battle. You kept growing though and I saw you get bigger week by week, your heartbeat sounding stronger every time. I finally got to feel you move in me when you were about 20 weeks. It felt like you were poking me. I wasn’t sure if it was you at first but then you kicked/punched quite a bit harder to let me know it was you. To me it meant you were getting stronger and that you were doing alright. I looked forward everyday to feel you move. A little over 22 weeks you decided you were coming out; it was time for labor. I was so scared; you weren’t old enough to be able to survive the outside world yet, but we couldn’t stop the labor. The doctors told me even though you were healthy and big your lungs stopped developing at 15 weeks, it was devastating to hear. That meant no matter what we did to help, you couldn’t survive the outside world so we just had to make you comfortable while we could. We didn’t know whether you would be born with or without a heartbeat. But you decided you wanted to get a chance to meet your mom and dad, so you were born with a strong heartbeat and you were so beautiful. You were born on December 1st at 11:04 p.m. You weighed a pound and 2 ounces. You were so beautiful; daddy and I were so happy to have you as our daughter. We were able to hold you and give you a bath and love you for the little time we had. At 12:35 a.m. on December 2nd you took your last tiny breath and your heart stopped. We cried and held you until we had to let you go. We cremated you with your blanket and we will always keep you close to our heart and you will always be a part of the family, Daddy and Mommy love you Mavis, with all our heart. Fly high with those beautiful angel wings.
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